The OB/GYN conundrum
2006-03-28 - 9:49 p.m.

I have my annual check up with my OB/GYN next Tuesday and I was just making a list of things I want to talk to her about.

I told B earlier that she's going to see me pull this list out and think, "Uh-oh, this one's going to be here all day," but really the list isn't that long. I feel like a dork having to take a list but if I don't I'll forget stuff.

My first issue is that one time last summer and then again during my last period I had the worst pain I've ever had in my life. Fortunately it only lasted for 15 or 20 minutes each time and it only happened one day during thos two periods, but this last time the pain was so bad that first I almost passed out, then I broke out into a cold sweat and almost threw up. It was scary. Since it's only happened twice, and about 8 months between the two times, I don't know if there's really anything to worry about, but I'll mention it to her anyway. I know endometriosis can cause really bad menstrual pain but I think that happens during every period, not just twice like with me.

Anyway, I also want to tell her that some of my PMDD symptoms have returned. She put me on Welbutr!n for that two years ago and it's been working great until the fall of last year when, for some reason, they started to surface again. It hasn't been happening every month, and even then it's only one day, so it's not unbearable, but I still want to tell her about it. She may want to put me on some other antidepressant and I'm willing to try other stuff as long as it's not one that will make me gain weight. My mom was put on antidepressants a few years ago and she's gained around 50 pounds. I really feel for her because she's been thin all her life and now she can't lose the weight no matter what she tries. In a twist of cruel irony, this depresses her (obviously).

Third on my list is to ask my OB/GYN about an extra-strength pain reliever for the times when my normal pain meds don't get the job done. And fourth, I want to ask her about being my primary care physician, which ties in with number three.

Last year when I saw her for my check up I asked if she would be my primary care physician because I was sick of dealing with my old PCP and his office staff of idiots. She said yes, gave me refills on on my prescriptions, sent me on my merry way and life was good. A few months later I called her office to ask about getting stronger pain meds and/or possibly a different muscle relaxer for when I need extra help. The office staff told me I would need to call my primary care physician for that, and when I said, "She IS my primary care physician," they told me that was impossible because she doesn't do that. I was completely blown away by this and I told them I'd specifically asked her to be my primary care physician and she agreed. So the office staff said they'd double check with her and call me back. When they did call back they left me a message saying "you'll need to contact your primary care physican for those prescriptions."

I still don't know if she's my primary care physician or not so that's what I need to find out. If she says no, she can't do it then maybe she can recommend someone to me.

Finally, the fifth and final thing on my list is about my fibromyalgia. She is the one who suggested I may have it and referred me to an endocrinologist last year, but I never did see the endo because it was going to cost literally thousands of dollars for the appointment and all the tests he would want to run on me. All this to MAYBE find out that I have fibromyalgia, and on top of that there's no cure; just various treatment options. That's why I decided to try the treatment options on my own. It's pretty clear to me that I do have fibromyalgia. I mean, when I came home after my OB/GYN suggested it, I looked it up and it was like I was reading a description of how my life has been for the last three years. It was somewhat of a relief to finally be able to put a name to all the crap that's been going on with me.

Now that I've spent the last year trying to treat myself - and failing - it may be time to give up and let a real doctor try. BUT I still can't afford to see that endo so I'll just be honest with her and maybe she herself can treat me, or maybe she can recommend a non-specialist who's willing to treat fibromyalgia who can then be my primary care physician.

I'm still on the fence about that last item on the list. I feel embarassed for not seeing that endo even though I have a legitimate reason for it. My fear is that I'll tell her that and she'll refuse to do anything more for me until I see the endo, then I'll be up shit creek.

Well, I have a week to think about it.

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